I recently came across a picture of me on a mug. It was taken four years ago, I had been attending the a public school for the first time in my life. Being raised as a homeschooler I had to adjust to this new lifestyle of waking up early, having extremely short hair and participating in school-spirit events I really did not want to attend. This was a very crucial age for me, I did not have a six pack, flawless skin or impressive social skills to wow people into liking me.
As I was staring at this mug with this fading, unflattering picture of fourteen year old Chamie, I could not help but think “Why does my past affect me so much?” And “Why do I keep reliving those moments in my head, when everyone else seems to have forgotten about it?”
This is a question I have been trying to find the answer to most of my life, and every time I think I have it, I see that I still do not understand it. You see, these past moments and/or memories that often seem to haunt us, sometimes has reason behind it.
To go back to the day of that photograph, I remember so many small details about how the classes looked, what people said around and to me and what I thought. Often it feels like I’m back in that cold class room in Grade 8.
Jesus tells the story of a king that holds a banquet in Matthew 22. The king first invites all of his friends, esteemed members of council and important citizens, but none of them showed up. Some of them even killed the messengers that the king had sent. When the king heard of this he was furious and sent out his army to kill and burn the towns of the people that had disrespected him. He then sent out his servants to gather anyone they want to, to fill the party.
The point of this story comes down to “many are called, but few are chosen” and that is the exact point that I want to make. Many memories and experiences are given to us, but sometimes it is only a handful that have a massive impact on us.
We try and look for tiny details and waste our timelooking for meaning in insignificant events or things, and often we miss the current memories. I know personally I have looked too deep or too complexly at certain past events that I miss the current ones.
So that photo day will always live in my mind, but I know finally see the purpose of it, to remind me to keep on pushing and moving forward, and not be over taken by the past. There is a season and reason for everything in life, and our mission is to ask God what is the length of our season and the purpose/reason for it.